This has just popped up on my Timehop which means it was 2 years ago that we found out I was pregnant! We had spent the day in Whitstable and I hadn’t honestly given it a second thought all day but on the way home I suggested to Chris we picked up a pregnancy test. My first pregnancy test. I can’t put into words now how lucky I feel to be able to say that. At the time, that didn’t really sink in. My first reaction / words to Chris might not be ones I share with Isaac!! My second thought (about how much gin I’d drank at my brother’s wedding the week before) I probably won’t share either! And then it was a mix of disbelief, amazement and shock. It was exciting but incredibly nerve-wracking and even after a second test I still didn’t really believe it. Nothing else had really changed, so it didn’t really feel real. I remember speaking to the doctors on the Monday morning expecting everything to slot into place after that but the receptionist was so casual (when I was shaking on the end of the phone from actually saying out loud “I think I’m pregnant”) as she booked me an appointment for 4 weeks time, I was left completely deflated. Was that it? What happened next? I had no clue what I should and shouldn’t be doing or eating or what vitamins I should be taking! I just had to go to work and sit at my desk with my little secret. It was an awesome feeling at first, until the morning sickness kicked in and that feeling of having an amazing little secret was replaced with thoughts of how much bread and cheese and packs of fruit pastilles I could eat at my desk without anybody noticing, and thinking of situations in which I was sick on the tube and what I would actually do if that happened! Those first few weeks were surreal. I had a wedding, a birthday party, several work functions, and during all of those I either had to pretend to drink or make up an excuse why I wasn’t drinking. Clearly I’m not that person who just “doesn’t drink” on a night out so these excuses had to be pretty airtight! They seemed to work so that we could keep our little secret to ourselves (and those closest to us) until we’d had our first scan. The 12 week scan was petrifying but equally amazing. We found out that we actually had a little strawberry (Isaac’s first name!) growing in there. That was the first time in those first couple of months that someone actually confirmed I was pregnant. And that kind of sums up life since.. petrifying but equally amazing!IMG_2463

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